kylobite

A better, more positive Tumblr

staff:

Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).  

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

Jeff D’Onofrio
CEO

Hey Jeff. We know you’re lying. We know you are trash. We know you look down on the people who use your service. Don’t lie. Fuck You you piece of shit. I hope one day you get silenced the way you have silenced millions of marginalized voices today. As a powerful man, I’m sure that will never happen to you, but sometimes karma comes through.

Cocksucking

Fuck tumblr

Fuck yahoo

Fuck Verizon.

Tops and bottoms exist. Female-presenting nipples exist (and they’re just called nipples you trash). Kinks exist. Cocksucking and sex exist. Lesbians and trans people exist. You can’t erase them. We won’t be erased.

You will lose. We will win.

Fuck tumblr.

Wizard of Oz

“Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.”

I could never

Hold It Against You,

It has more product placement than American Idol, then she seems to marry all of her old music videos (most prominently Somtimes, though,) and the whole thing climaxes when she has a chick fight with herself. Oh, and that’s all interspliced with shots of her “dancing,” which has sadly devolved into really fast cuts of her, mostly just moving her arms swiftly, so as to not betray that she probably is as slow as a breakdancing turtle. The only thing that could have made it better is if it had ended with its last frame reading, in large bold letters, Directed by Tyra Banks.

In short, the new Britney Spears video is completely awesome. 

Eric follows in Serena’s slutsteps

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Eric: My mom’s a bitch, my sister’s a slut, and my boyfriend’s such a little prick! 

Damien: Well I’m not a little prick.  

Okay okay, while it was not clearly apparent that Eric is doing Damien, that’s what I decided is happening. I mean, if he’s keeping his drug use a secret from the fam, he can’t just use trust fund money. Clearly, it’s bjs for pills. … Sigh. Fine. He was paying him with cash. BUT what about that mischievous call about “hanging out just as friends” at the end. Damien was sporting a mean mug. I guess he doesn’t like being threatened (who does?) What’s his play? Is he going after his threatener, Ben, or the Van Der Woodsens? How does Eric fit into either plan? Maybe he’ll try breaking Eric’s heart (and banging him) for revenge? Not recommended, Darling Dealer, or Lily may just murder someone and pin it on you… for the good of her children.

Ugh, let’s not get started on Lily. Just watching the “Previously On” scenes filled me with rage anew. Then when Eric got snarky later in the episode she actually started replying with “Now you listen to me…”. How could she get more villainous? And then seconds later, when Jonathon interrupted her to diffuse the situation, she replied with an impetuous “Fine.” I guess being wife to five men does not make her five times the mother. Also, paying off the man you falsely sent to prison? Check the logic!

Speaking of Ben, I was surprised by his icy demeanour towards Serena. I mean, in real life, of course that would make sense, but this is Gossip Girl! Doesn’t everyone sleep with S before turning to ice? I think that’s what her stylist was trying to tell us by dressing her in that failed attempt at fashioning up an ugly Christmas sweater. But of course, by the end of the hour, after giving some really inappropriate advice to Eric (not that the advice was that bad, it was just coming from a complete stranger,) we see that Ben may have feelings for her after all (see above, re: threatening Damien.)

For me though, my favourite part of the ep had to be the Dair stuff. I love that Blair is lying to Serena about meeting up with Dan (and that she managed to insult the V Bohème even though she was still absent! Genius!) I even managed to enjoy most of the time they spent in an Intern Off when they both ended up working at W, mostly because of the ridiculousness of Dan actually managing to out-Blair Blair. See his retort to B’s attempted citrus shoe sabotage:

“I didn’t date Serena Van Der Woodsen for two years and not come away knowing these are Marc Jacobs… and they’re mustard. " 

I have to admit I found it sweet that B forewent the foiling, and uncharacteristically Manhattany of Brooklynn Boy to partake in it. Maybe that’s why our mysterious narrator referred to home at ’D’ tonight instead of his previous alias, Lonely Boy. Thank god that’s over. Still, the "climax” of their tiff, if your would call it that, involved the pair getting into a physical altercation at the W party. I’m sorry, sabotage or not, would Blair Waldorf ever get into a chick fight at a chic event? That is so white trash. But of course, Dan gentlemaned out by the ep’s end and got B her dream internship back at W. 

I’d also like to point out that brief Chuck and Blair moment we got when he arrived at the W party. Even with all the Dair stuff happening, the writers definitely reminded us that Chair is not dead. I love it. 

As for the rest of Chuck’s activities this episode, and for that matter, Nate’s as well, they were just really, really boring. They didn’t move ahead with the story of the Bass Industries takeover, so I didn’t move ahead with caring about it. Nate’s Dad was an asshole, no one was surprised but his son (so pretty, but so dumb,) and then he acted holier-than-thou for a minute (let’s cut this “ Chuck is family” crap at the door, okay, The Captain? Ugh, and while we’re at it…) and then he reverted to asshole. Chuck banged Raina and her bugly (boring & ugly, a tough combination to pull off) hair, then asked her to fire The Captain (I mean, really! Come on!) and then did some other incredibly dull stuff, I’m sure. Honestly, it was pretty lame. I must admit that my excitement grew when Chuck was at Raina’s hotel room when she had already filled the position of half-naked man-guest… come on, the more, the merrier!

Oh, and Jonathon was back. Back to remind us that he broke up with Eric for a stupid reason, and then to make that reason sound even worse (equating Eric’s detachment from his family to being Dirty J was ridiculous.)

Whoa, so I guess a lot happened despite our resident boy hotties being benched from any good action. Future: Dan & Blair! Eric & Damien! Serena & Ben? … And more lines like my faves from tonight:

Blair: Let Ben go.

Serena: Let Dan be.

~~~

Blair: I know how to staple so stay out of my way or I’ll use one to attach your tongue to your shoulder blade. 

~~~

Eric: Mom paid someone off again? Well, we should make this a drinking game. 

~~~

Damien: You say potato, judge says pedophile.

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

A strawberry being fed to me by Zac Efron. 

Peter’s phoenixing out on us!

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Well, another week, another awesome instalment of Fringe. Thank goodness the show seems to still be doing well in the ratings even after Fox pulled a half-Firefly on it, because it really is heating up.

This week we saw familiar hero Peter come face-to-metal with the machine that can apparently destroy our universe. Of course it got all turned on when Peter got near (who can blame it?) And, if you buy Walter’s theory from the end of the episode, the machine affected the Peter just as much. I direct your attention to Walter’s line near the mid-episode mark about how interesting it is that the smallest change to our molecular make-up can have such big effects on our behaviour. So not only is Peter’s heart rate higher than normal (remember that; it’s sure to be important later, which, in Fringe, probably means in about two season,) but he also was a lot murderery than usual. Yes, he spent the bulk of the episode going behind the team’s backs to kill four shapeshifters. Mucho darker than he’s been recently, but it definitely reminds us of his con artist past. 

The question on my mind by the end of the episode is of course whether he learned anything from his last victim or not. I know that Fringe has its trademark slow-and-steady-wins-the-amazingly-dramatic-storytelling-race thing going, but I was sorta hoping to learn something from all these metallic murders. Alas, we still have no idea what this machine is, what it has to do with Peter, or what the First People have to do with anything. 

Speaking of those zany First People, we also learned tonight that tricksy William Bell went on a quest for The First People book a few years. He’s dead, but he’s still ahead of the curve. What a guy! So did he learn anything about them? I’m thinking they must be pretty important to this Clash of the Universes storyline. Maybe the first people created the Other Universe? And perhaps that’s why it seems to be more vulnerable to molecular instability than our own? And why, even in a Hindenburg-disaster-less world, the zeppelin is considered a modern means of transportation. 

Never a show to rely on murder to keep our interest, Fringe continued its exploration of just how much Fauxlivia fucked stuff up for Olivia and Peter. This week, a braid-sporting Olivia finally realized that Peter may be in just as much emotional turmoil as she is. About time! It’s such a classic story.  She gets kidnapped, held prisoner in another universe that features the hit musical Dogs, brainwashed to think she was someone who she’s not, and then had to fight tooth and nail to get home, and suddenly it’s all “me-me-me!” Please. 

All things told, we do seem to have some forward momentum. Peter is flirting with the dark side, Walter is continuing his quest to regain his lost brain tissue (which could turn him into a calculating asshole) and we continue to deal with the Fauxlivia fallout. Tiring work for a Friday night! But as we get closer to the finale, we know it’s only going to get better. 

Scuttlebutt what-what? - January 28

A recap and review of recent reports that rev my radiator.

Charlie Sheen is in rehab and Two and a Half Men is on hiatus. Thank god.

Anne Hathway and James Franco have two Oscar promos out, and they’re pretty good. They wish to welcome you, and let you know they know how to handle Janet Jackson’s bullshit. 

The fabulous Christina Aguilera is singing the American national anthem at the Superbowl. And for some reason, Lea Michele is going to be singing America The Beautiful. At least, I assume there’s a reason…

Sarah Michelle Gellar is hopefully returning to TV. CBS has ordered a pilot of her potential new show Ringer in which she plays twin sisters. One has been chosen by destiny to save the world from evil, and the other is a sex robot. Stay tuned for the season one finale where no doubt it will revealed that they’re actually triplets and the third sister is source of all evil in the world. 

There’s only 9 days left until Glee returns. Gleeks unite with excitement that maybe the back half of the season will have more than one storyline. (Hey, I love love love all the Kurt we’ve had so far, but there are over a dozen other characters. Someone has to do something interesting… please!) On the bright side, rumour are swirling that we will see more Brittana. Let’s be honest, can a show ever have too much scissoring? 

In other delightful returning TV news, Nikita, Fringe, and Gossip Girl are back this week. In a less delightful and similar vein, the sickness that is American Idol is also back.

On February 19, Kathy Griffin will be taping her next Bravo special in Milwaukee. In preparation of the event, Milwaukee has asked all residents to increase use of the word “fuck” and phrase “suck it” by 50% to make the comedienne and her army of gays feel welcome. 

I’m pretty much in love with Pink now. I mean really.

Lily is a bitch

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So Lily is still just a bitch in my books. Who cares that she convinced the judge to get Ben out on early parole (which, I’m fairly certain, is not how parole works.) He’s still been convicted of a crime because you falsified an affidavit, bitch. And she has the gall to act like the victim when Serena almost exposed her secret to the press. “I could go to jail,” she says dramatically. Yes, because you committed a crime. And really, if she is trying to fix everything, why not tell everyone what you’re actually doing instead of lying, misleading, and generally giving everyone more ammo to hate you. 

I like how it took all of two episodes for me to go from not caring about Lily at all to absolutely despising her. 

In non-der-Woodsen news, Blair and Dan are moving towards a more Dair-ing future. It’s not clear which way the writers are going, but there’s something a-brewin’ there. Personally, I think seeing a relationship here could be very interesting. Obviously it would never last (like any relationship in this show) but it could be a stepping stone to get Chuck and Blair back together. Let’s not kid ourselves, those two are complete soulmates and practically the only interesting thing that happened in the first half of the season. Regardless, I’m into Dair for now. 

We also met some new villains this week: Russell Thorpe and his daughter Raina. They are going after Bass Industries, which we learned is in trouble and The Bitch was trying to sell (without telling anyone, of course.) Unfortunately, Thorpe wants to buy it and tear it apart as a bit of vengeance against Bart Bass. And, of course, Chuck decided it was a swell idea to start banging Raina and her ugly, ugly hair. I’m wagering this will be the big tension for the rest of the season. I’m not that interested yet, but it has some potential. I think it depends on how good the Thorpes are at playing the game. We’ll see…

The rest of the episode was more or less yawn-worthy. Nate continues to be a babe and a complete idiot (in a shocking twist, letting his bailed-out dad stay with him may be a mistake!) The V Bohème and Dirty J were thankfully not present for this instalment. Eric had his usual token gay appearance to help cook up drama for his sister’s storyline (although apparently he has his own storyline coming up! Ha! I’m sure it’ll end up having to do with Serena in the end.) Oh, and Rufus still has no job and seems to do absolutely nothing. Like a good househusband should be, I suppose. 

Oh, and now that Ben is out on magic-judge parole, he and Serena are sure to start banging any day now. So there’s that to look forward to. And by that, I mean hopefully a sex scene that reveals that David Call has a really nice body. 

Until next week Gossippers!